Such a Tragedy

I'm sitting in my backyard with my 2year old and my 4 year old - the older 2 are gone to their grandparents for a few days. My Mother in-law actually came and picked them up to take them to her house. When she came by I took that opportunity to go to the rink to pick my daughter up from her skating lessons while my mother in-law watched the boys for me. As I was at the rink waiting I read that there had been an accident involving a 2 year old boy and a pool. Then I read that it was in the suburb where I live. As I got to the car I checked my phone again for updates. Not only did it happen in my suburb, it happened in my neighbourhood. I read the cross streets and froze - because that's my area - that's where I live. I have a pool.

I had only been gone maybe 15 minutes, so my rational mind told me not to worry (even though until I walked through my door my mind ran through 'what-ifs'). But then I thought of my friends - 2 of which have children around the age of 2 and both with pools. Then I saw the address in an online news article. Relief hit me because it wasn't anyone I knew - but it was a street that one of my daughter's school friends lives on. A tragedy happened to a young, innocent 2 year old boy who was taken, by his caregiver, to the house of another caregiver. That caregiver had an above ground pool. The absolute worst thing happened.

I will not place blame here - because no matter what I say, I can guarantee you that the caregiver in charge of that young boy will never be the same. The life of that poor boys parent's - pregnant with another child, will be changed forever. Assigning blame is pointless. And accidents happen. I remember being at a birthday party four years ago. My oldest son was 2 at the time, my daughter 4. There was a lot of people, and a pool. I remember sitting with my daughter getting her ready to leave when someone told me Marco had fallen in the pool. He was apparently chasing a balloon and ran right into the water (even worse, the cover was on the pool!) I have no words for the friend that immediate ran in after him, because I had no idea it had even happened. Until someone told me my son had fallen in, and an incredible person had gone in after him, I had lost track of my son. An accident could have happened to me.

I have seen many people post lately that they will never have a pool, that it's too dangerous, that it scares them. I have a pool, I have 4 children, and water is scary. But you can have a pool and children and be very safe! I was speaking to my friend(one of the ones with a pool and a 2 year old - and the one who had the party when Marco fell in the pool) about pool safety - and how when you have a pool your less afraid of it than those who don't. Don't get me wrong, when we moved into our current house, the very first thing I told my husband we were doing was installing a fence around our pool. Our yard is large and fenced, but I wanted the pool fenced as well for my own sanity. It cost us almost $2000 to fence that pool but even if the cost was $10000 it would have been done.



My children are pool smart - the older 3 can all swim very capably, but my youngest won't go in. But - he knows that in this house there are rules, and the first and foremost rule about being inside the pool enclosure is that he must wear a lifejacket. Whether he is going in the pool or not, if he is inside the fence, the lifejacket is on. And he is fine with it - always asking for it before attempting to go inside the fence. My point here is not having a pool won't necessarily prevent tragedy - this poor boy wasn't at home. But teaching your children to respect the water,and all that it can do is more important to me that teaching them to fear the water.

This tragedy hit far too close to home for me. In a summer filled with water accidents from around the country, I certainly hope this is the last one we hear of.

Project Mom Casting Call!!!!

OK, so there's this group of women who are heading to Blogher '10 to do interviews for potential participants for an upcoming reality tv series about Mom Bloggers! Yeah, I just about squealed out loud with delight when I heard about it. But then I discovered that I wasn't going to Blogher. Boo. BUT - the ladies behind Project Mom Casting are ok with that and will still be considering those not going to Blogher. Yay! So, over at my Yummy Mummy Club Blog blog I have posted my submission (please be kind) but I also need to post a picture on a web page, so I'm gonna post the most flattering picture of me I have here(wow, it pays off to have friends who are photographers!)



So wish me luck!

The Sound of Silence

There are many things I miss from my pre-children days. The ability to not have to plan trips alone to the grocery store, being able to go see a movie without it costing me an extra $50 in babysitting costs, my waistline - you get the picture. Sure, there are lots of things we take for granted when we are 'pre-children' that we don't really think about until we are 'post-children'.

And with having pretty great kids I don't tend to care about planning my grocery store trips or only going to the movie theatre when I win free tickets, because they're awesome and make life more fun. There is however one thing I miss, and I miss it sooooooo much. I miss quiet.

Now if you know me you might think that its a bit odd that I miss the quiet. Because the very last word that someone might use to describe me - is quiet. Because let me tell you, I am not quiet. I very well might be the loudest person I know. I talk a lot. I'm loud, I'm happy, I'm exuberant, and I have been told that I raise the energy level in any room I walk into. I.Am.Not.Quiet. And neither are my kids!

I love my children - my boundless balls of energy who excitedly relay every.single.detail. of their day to me every.single.minute. of the day. I love that they constantly feel the need to let me know what each and every one of them are doing at any given moment even though for 90% of the day, I'm in the exact same room as them watching what they're doing. I especially love when they all insist on telling me what they are doing at the exact same time. That my friends, that is my favourite.

And then, when my husband comes home, and I seek 5 minutes of refuge in my bedroom - seeking the silence that has eluded me all day - and one of my lovely children (normally the youngest one)follows me - while chanting my name, over, and over, and over, and over - to the point where I really just want to change my name in hopes that they won't know the new one. Yeah, that's fun.

And finally, when they are all in bed, and we settle in on the couch to either watch a movie or maybe a show, and I get out my trusty laptop so I can either write (which is kinda what I am trying to for a living over at Yummy Mummy Club) or just see what's going on in the world, and my husband feels chatty. Honest to God - silence has never seemed so elusive.

So I know that when you have kids you sacrifice, you give many things up, your life changes drastically. I'm happy to say that those changes are definitely worth it, but some days - I'd give my right arm for 1 hour of uninterrupted silence. Maybe my left one too:)

My Bag of Tricks

You know, when you have 4 kids you kinda learn some tricks by the time the youngest is a toddler. And I don't mean card tricks or shadow puppet tricks - I mean the kind that will keep you sane with the least amount of bother from your kids. And I say that this is the sort of thing that happens when you have 4 kids because the kind of tricks I'm talking about come from experience. You can't be taught this knowledge, you have to live it to truly get it.

I never leave home without my magic bag of tricks. What is my magic bag of tricks, you ask? Let me tell you. After I had my first child, I was constantly fully prepared with a diaper bag full of every essential you could ever need (and rarely did). I carried at least 7 diapers, wipes, bottles, wash clothes, q-tips (in case there was a need for an emergency ear cleaning??) zinc cream (had the same tin of zinc cream for all 4 of my kids - not a necessity!) and so on and so forth. Really, I carried around a bunch of crap I rarely ever used but thought I needed because every picture of a diaper bag I had ever seen had those contents.

After my 2nd child was born I carried around the same diaper bag, just not as neatly packed. But once my 3rd child came around everything changed. No more diaper bag for me. With 2 young kids to keep entertained while caring for a much more demanding baby, things started to change. One - I realized I hated diaper bags and vowed to never carry one ever, ever again. Two - I also realized that all you really need for a baby can be carried in a very lovely oversized purse that will still make you feel womanly but carry everything you need for said baby. Which for me was 1 diaper, a travel pack of wipes (which later on turned into a ziploc bag with a few shoved in - if I remembered them) and a bottle.

Then my 4th came along and with him the birth of the magic bag of tricks. My magic bag of tricks is simply my purse, large enough of course to hold whatever I need. The magic part comes from what it carries in it. You see when you are the parent of one child there are different rules than when you have 3,4 or more. When you have one child (and I was this parent to a tee) you are particular, you read everything you can about parenting, and you would never, ever have a box of Smarties on you at all times should the need to calm or quiet and agitated child arise. Fortunately, when you are on kid number 4 those rules go right out the window!

Tonight I was at soccer with my girlfriend who has a son that plays with my oldest son and a daughter that plays with my daughter. She also has a 1.5 year old son. Now when I leave for soccer the one thing that stands out in my mind is that I need to have things packed in my 'magic bag of tricks' that will keep my other 2 kids who aren't playing soccer from bugging me too much. You see soccer is the one night in a week that my girlfriend and I can actually sit down and attempt a conversation so I make sure my bag is loaded with everything I might need. So tonight, when my friends' 1.5 year old son wouldn't sit in his stroller making it difficult for us to speak - voila - here's a lollipop out of Kelli's bag of tricks (let it be known that all my friends love my bag of tricks!) And when all the other kids saw said lollipop and ran over looking for theirs - now worries! I have 4 kids - and I always pack for 12. I also had 3 water bottles, 4 granola bars, an assortment of Bakugan, action figures, stickers, pens, paper and - for when we have to pull out the big guns - orange Tic Tacs and cinnamon gum!

You see diaper bags are ok - but to really be prepared when out and about with kids, nothing compares to the magic bag of tricks! I've actually gone out with my youngest before he was potty trained and forgot to bring diapers but did have bag loaded with toys and snacks. And not only do my kids benefit from the bag of tricks but so do my friends too - because I have placated many a child with loot from my magic bag. So - while some Mom's of 1 will frown at me feeding my kids lollipops and Smarties while out in hopes that it will earn my a few quiet moments, I know that in a few years when they have 3 or 4 kids of their own they will be doing the exact same thing. Because the magic bag of tricks really is magic!

A Milestone I Didn't Need

Wow, what a summer. I have been blogging lately about all the really great milestones that have been happening in my house this summer. We have no more diapers, no more cribs, losing our first tooth! So many great things I knew we'd have to go and fuck it up and have a not-so great milestone happen! This week we hit the '1st broken bone in the house' milestone! Yay!!!

Ugh, honestly, did we really need this? My poor sweet little boy, Anthony, turned 4 on Monday. And to celebrate he rolled out of his bed Tuesday morning at 5am and broke his collar bone! Seriously, what kind of freak accident is that? My husband woke up to hearing the 'thud' on Tuesday morning and ran to his room. I'm only slightly embarrassed that I didn't hear a thing - because I sleep really soundly. Anthony didn't say anything at the time so my husband put him back to bed. 15 minutes later my husband kicked me because Anthony was crying and it was my turn to go and see him. Honestly I didn't know he had fallen out of his bed until my husband told me as I was going to see him. And I couldn't believe it was Anthony crying because its just not like him to do that - he's not really dramatic that way.

So that was my first clue that something wasn't right. I crawled into bed with him and he complained of a sore neck - so I thought maybe he kinked his neck when he fell and tried to rub it for him (rubbing a child's neck when they have a broken collar bone does not feel good - fyi). He fell back asleep and when he got up he was really nursing his shoulder.

Now here's where I have to tell you that I am not 'that' mom. I rarely take my kids to the doctor unless it's for their 1 year check up and never when they're 'just' sick. I firmly believe that Advil can cure most of what ails them along with some rest. However, I am very happy though that my 'mom senses' kicked in with this because almost as soon as he came downstairs I called my husband and told him I thought he broke - or at least dislocated - his collar bone/shoulder. Lino switched around his calendar and came home to take Anthony to the Urgent Care clinic to get him checked out.

Now this is where it gets interesting. Lino calls me from the clinic to tell me that the nurse asked Anthony to lift his arm above his shoulder (something he couldn't do at home) and he promptly stuck his arm up in the air! Are you kidding me kid? Now you're fine? So the nurse thinks that maybe he dislocated it but it has since self-corrected. I am having this all relayed to me by my husband who is asking me why he has taken our child to the clinic (he's only semi-serious at this point). The next call I get is Lino telling me that they still want to do an x-ray to err on the side of caution, which makes me feel better simply for justifying calling my husband out of work!

Well the next phone call I get is Lino informing me that he didn't dislocate his shoulder (huge sigh of relief) but in fact he has broken his clavicle! My poor little 4 year old birthday boy has broken his collar bone! Honestly, I was in shock. My 6 year old has dislocated his elbow 4 times - which is pretty traumatic, but none of my kids have ever broken a bone! I was honestly distraught. Especially because he broke it falling out of his bed, which for the record is not high off the ground - and only on rails! It kind of made me feel helpless.

Fortunately Anthony is my tough kid - tough as nails that one is. He marched into the house only too happy to show off his new sling/brace to me and his siblings! The hard part now is keeping him from hurting it more, which is much easier said than done when you have a very active and tough 4 year old!

So while I have enjoyed all the milestones this summer has given us, I think I'm done. No more thank you - I've had enough!

Adventures in Babysitting

It's not easy when you have 4 kids to find a babysitter. Especially if you're me. I'm a bit picky and I don't want someone in my house that isn't going to actually pay attention to my kids. But I also want them to be able to drive, or live in walking distance (because then I don't have to pay for a taxi to take them home in addition to the one that brought me home because when I go out without the kids I like to enjoy some cocktails:)) Add into the fact that I also have to pay said babysitter (meaning teenager who is going to sit on my couch, eat my chips and text all night long) $10 an hour that makes for a pretty expensive evening. Needless to say our nights out are few and far between.

But - deciding that for the sake of my sanity and for the happiness of my children that my husband and I needed a night out of our house. I had my friend give me the email of her son's ex-girlfriend and I had been emailing her back and forth trying to find a day that fit in our schedule. I called her yesterday and booked her for the evening - once again re-iterating how I got her name and that I lived close to her ex-boyfriend. This is how our phone conversation went

Me - Hi, how about I email you directions to my house. Do you know where the big French Catholic school is on the corner?

Her - oh yup, I know where that is.

Me - OK, so you live on (I say her street name) - I used to live 2 doors down from you, I'll send you directions from your house. I actually live close to your ex-boyfriend

Her - ok, sounds good. Email me directions.

At 7:38 (she was supposed to be here at 7:30)I get an email that says this;

Where are you located?
Like what state?

Are.You.Fucking.Kidding.Me?

So I email back - Where are you located?

And she emails me this

I'm in Portland, Oregon, I don't think we're in the same area?

Ya Think?

So, needless to say we did not get our ever needed night out, but what's worse is my kids were so excited for a babysitter! Poor kids were sad they didn't have a new friend coming over.

So how does something like this happen? This girl had the exact same name as the one I thought I was contacting,around the same age - but obviously ridiculously stupid.

Now the good thing is that I did get 2 names of girls who would be interested in babysitting for me in the future. And I'm pretty sure we live in the same country!

A Woman On The Edge!

More Milestones...

Well, this week marked more summer milestones for us. And this one caused quite the reaction too! This week my second child and my oldest son, Marco, lost his very first tooth! We were very excited for him because while his older sister has already lost 8 teeth this was his first. I kinda forgot how exciting it is for them to get their very first visit from the tooth fairy. After tweeting out that he lost his tooth I was then hit with the usual questions surrounding 'how much does the tooth fairy give in your house?'



And here we go:) Now let me begin by saying that I think that what each person chooses to give their child from the tooth fairy is their own business, but apparently there a few kids that I need to keep my kids away from - because our tooth fairy isn't nearly as rich as theirs:) (Loukia - I am talking to you!)You see in my house the tooth fairy gives the very random amount of $7 for the first tooth ( $7 was the grand total of cash that I had on hand the night my daughter lost her first tooth) and $2 for each subsequent tooth. I think that's pretty reasonable. I mean lets face it people - I have 4 kids who lose, what? - 16 teeth each? Um, I'm not good in math, but that's a whole lot of bank!

But it seems that when the question of 'how much does your tooth fairy leave?' was put to the twitterverse, the answers were quite varying. Seems there are some pretty rich tooth fairies out there who like to leave $50 for a tooth!!!! $50!!!! Are you kidding me??? First off I think my surprise came from the fact that my kids wouldn't even be able to comprehend 'what' $50 was. To them $50 would be no different than $5 - because paper money is paper money. And since I normally raid their piggy banks anyway (what? - I buy them whatever they need - they don't actually need money!) giving them $50 I find a bit excessive! OK a lot excessive! But to each their own.

I guess I think its just too easy to spoil kids these days - and unfortunately it shows in their behaviour. Now just because someone gives their child an excessive amount from the tooth fairy doesn't mean that they spoil them, but it would be in my case. With 4 kids it would become a competition of who got what and how much they had. Leaving it to spare change just makes it more special. I think that the tooth fairy should still leave loose change and random coins, because after all - its not about how much you make from your tooth, its about the rite of passage. Isn't it?