A Woman On The Edge

Such a Tragedy

2010-07-29T14:55:00.008-04:00

I'm sitting in my backyard with my 2year old and my 4 year old - the older 2 are gone to their grandparents for a few days. My Mother in-law actually came and picked them up to take them to her house. When she came by I took that opportunity to go to the rink to pick my daughter up from her skating lessons while my mother in-law watched the boys for me. As I was at the rink waiting I read that there had been an accident involving a 2 year old boy and a pool. Then I read that it was in the suburb where I live. As I got to the car I checked my phone again for updates. Not only did it happen in my suburb, it happened in my neighbourhood. I read the cross streets and froze - because that's my area - that's where I live. I have a pool.

I had only been gone maybe 15 minutes, so my rational mind told me not to worry (even though until I walked through my door my mind ran through 'what-ifs'). But then I thought of my friends - 2 of which have children around the age of 2 and both with pools. Then I saw the address in an online news article. Relief hit me because it wasn't anyone I knew - but it was a street that one of my daughter's school friends lives on. A tragedy happened to a young, innocent 2 year old boy who was taken, by his caregiver, to the house of another caregiver. That caregiver had an above ground pool. The absolute worst thing happened.

I will not place blame here - because no matter what I say, I can guarantee you that the caregiver in charge of that young boy will never be the same. The life of that poor boys parent's - pregnant with another child, will be changed forever. Assigning blame is pointless. And accidents happen. I remember being at a birthday party four years ago. My oldest son was 2 at the time, my daughter 4. There was a lot of people, and a pool. I remember sitting with my daughter getting her ready to leave when someone told me Marco had fallen in the pool. He was apparently chasing a balloon and ran right into the water (even worse, the cover was on the pool!) I have no words for the friend that immediate ran in after him, because I had no idea it had even happened. Until someone told me my son had fallen in, and an incredible person had gone in after him, I had lost track of my son. An accident could have happened to me.

I have seen many people post lately that they will never have a pool, that it's too dangerous, that it scares them. I have a pool, I have 4 children, and water is scary. But you can have a pool and children and be very safe! I was speaking to my friend(one of the ones with a pool and a 2 year old - and the one who had the party when Marco fell in the pool) about pool safety - and how when you have a pool your less afraid of it than those who don't. Don't get me wrong, when we moved into our current house, the very first thing I told my husband we were doing was installing a fence around our pool. Our yard is large and fenced, but I wanted the pool fenced as well for my own sanity. It cost us almost $2000 to fence that pool but even if the cost was $10000 it would have been done.

My children are pool smart - the older 3 can all swim very capably, but my youngest won't go in. But - he knows that in this house there are rules, and the first and foremost rule about being inside the pool enclosure is that he must wear a lifejacket. Whether he is going in the pool or not, if he is inside the fence, the lifejacket is on. And he is fine with it - always asking for it before attempting to go inside the fence. My point here is not having a pool won't necessarily prevent tragedy - this poor boy wasn't at home. But teaching your children to respect the water,and all that it can do is more important to me that teaching them to fear the water.

This tragedy hit far too close to home for me. In a summer filled with water accidents from around the country, I certainly hope this is the last one we hear of.

Project Mom Casting Call!!!!

2010-07-25T13:35:00.003-04:00

OK, so there's this group of women who are heading to Blogher '10 to do interviews for potential participants for an upcoming reality tv series about Mom Bloggers! Yeah, I just about squealed out loud with delight when I heard about it. But then I discovered that I wasn't going to Blogher. Boo. BUT - the ladies behind Project Mom Casting are ok with that and will still be considering those not going to Blogher. Yay! So, over at my Yummy Mummy Club Blog blog I have posted my submission (please be kind) but I also need to post a picture on a web page, so I'm gonna post the most flattering picture of me I have here(wow, it pays off to have friends who are photographers!)

So wish me luck!

The Sound of Silence

2010-07-24T20:46:00.010-04:00

There are many things I miss from my pre-children days. The ability to not have to plan trips alone to the grocery store, being able to go see a movie without it costing me an extra $50 in babysitting costs, my waistline - you get the picture. Sure, there are lots of things we take for granted when we are 'pre-children' that we don't really think about until we are 'post-children'.

And with having pretty great kids I don't tend to care about planning my grocery store trips or only going to the movie theatre when I win free tickets, because they're awesome and make life more fun. There is however one thing I miss, and I miss it sooooooo much. I miss quiet.

Now if you know me you might think that its a bit odd that I miss the quiet. Because the very last word that someone might use to describe me - is quiet. Because let me tell you, I am not quiet. I very well might be the loudest person I know. I talk a lot. I'm loud, I'm happy, I'm exuberant, and I have been told that I raise the energy level in any room I walk into. I.Am.Not.Quiet. And neither are my kids!

I love my children - my boundless balls of energy who excitedly relay every.single.detail. of their day to me every.single.minute. of the day. I love that they constantly feel the need to let me know what each and every one of them are doing at any given moment even though for 90% of the day, I'm in the exact same room as them watching what they're doing. I especially love when they all insist on telling me what they are doing at the exact same time. That my friends, that is my favourite.

And then, when my husband comes home, and I seek 5 minutes of refuge in my bedroom - seeking the silence that has eluded me all day - and one of my lovely children (normally the youngest one)follows me - while chanting my name, over, and over, and over, and over - to the point where I really just want to change my name in hopes that they won't know the new one. Yeah, that's fun.

And finally, when they are all in bed, and we settle in on the couch to either watch a movie or maybe a show, and I get out my trusty laptop so I can either write (which is kinda what I am trying to for a living over at Yummy Mummy Club) or just see what's going on in the world, and my husband feels chatty. Honest to God - silence has never seemed so elusive.

So I know that when you have kids you sacrifice, you give many things up, your life changes drastically. I'm happy to say that those changes are definitely worth it, but some days - I'd give my right arm for 1 hour of uninterrupted silence. Maybe my left one too:)

My Bag of Tricks

2010-07-21T22:38:00.006-04:00

You know, when you have 4 kids you kinda learn some tricks by the time the youngest is a toddler. And I don't mean card tricks or shadow puppet tricks - I mean the kind that will keep you sane with the least amount of bother from your kids. And I say that this is the sort of thing that happens when you have 4 kids because the kind of tricks I'm talking about come from experience. You can't be taught this knowledge, you have to live it to truly get it.

I never leave home without my magic bag of tricks. What is my magic bag of tricks, you ask? Let me tell you. After I had my first child, I was constantly fully prepared with a diaper bag full of every essential you could ever need (and rarely did). I carried at least 7 diapers, wipes, bottles, wash clothes, q-tips (in case there was a need for an emergency ear cleaning??) zinc cream (had the same tin of zinc cream for all 4 of my kids - not a necessity!) and so on and so forth. Really, I carried around a bunch of crap I rarely ever used but thought I needed because every picture of a diaper bag I had ever seen had those contents.

After my 2nd child was born I carried around the same diaper bag, just not as neatly packed. But once my 3rd child came around everything changed. No more diaper bag for me. With 2 young kids to keep entertained while caring for a much more demanding baby, things started to change. One - I realized I hated diaper bags and vowed to never carry one ever, ever again. Two - I also realized that all you really need for a baby can be carried in a very lovely oversized purse that will still make you feel womanly but carry everything you need for said baby. Which for me was 1 diaper, a travel pack of wipes (which later on turned into a ziploc bag with a few shoved in - if I remembered them) and a bottle.

Then my 4th came along and with him the birth of the magic bag of tricks. My magic bag of tricks is simply my purse, large enough of course to hold whatever I need. The magic part comes from what it carries in it. You see when you are the parent of one child there are different rules than when you have 3,4 or more. When you have one child (and I was this parent to a tee) you are particular, you read everything you can about parenting, and you would never, ever have a box of Smarties on you at all times should the need to calm or quiet and agitated child arise. Fortunately, when you are on kid number 4 those rules go right out the window!

Tonight I was at soccer with my girlfriend who has a son that plays with my oldest son and a daughter that plays with my daughter. She also has a 1.5 year old son. Now when I leave for soccer the one thing that stands out in my mind is that I need to have things packed in my 'magic bag of tricks' that will keep my other 2 kids who aren't playing soccer from bugging me too much. You see soccer is the one night in a week that my girlfriend and I can actually sit down and attempt a conversation so I make sure my bag is loaded with everything I might need. So tonight, when my friends' 1.5 year old son wouldn't sit in his stroller making it difficult for us to speak - voila - here's a lollipop out of Kelli's bag of tricks (let it be known that all my friends love my bag of tricks!) And when all the other kids saw said lollipop and ran over looking for theirs - now worries! I have 4 kids - and I always pack for 12. I also had 3 water bottles, 4 granola bars, an assortment of Bakugan, action figures, stickers, pens, paper and - for when we have to pull out the big guns - orange Tic Tacs and cinnamon gum!

You see diaper bags are ok - but to really be prepared when out and about with kids, nothing compares to the magic bag of tricks! I've actually gone out with my youngest before he was potty trained and forgot to bring diapers but did have bag loaded with toys and snacks. And not only do my kids benefit from the bag of tricks but so do my friends too - because I have placated many a child with loot from my magic bag. So - while some Mom's of 1 will frown at me feeding my kids lollipops and Smarties while out in hopes that it will earn my a few quiet moments, I know that in a few years when they have 3 or 4 kids of their own they will be doing the exact same thing. Because the magic bag of tricks really is magic!

A Milestone I Didn't Need

2010-07-16T11:39:00.004-04:00

Wow, what a summer. I have been blogging lately about all the really great milestones that have been happening in my house this summer. We have no more diapers, no more cribs, losing our first tooth! So many great things I knew we'd have to go and fuck it up and have a not-so great milestone happen! This week we hit the '1st broken bone in the house' milestone! Yay!!!

Ugh, honestly, did we really need this? My poor sweet little boy, Anthony, turned 4 on Monday. And to celebrate he rolled out of his bed Tuesday morning at 5am and broke his collar bone! Seriously, what kind of freak accident is that? My husband woke up to hearing the 'thud' on Tuesday morning and ran to his room. I'm only slightly embarrassed that I didn't hear a thing - because I sleep really soundly. Anthony didn't say anything at the time so my husband put him back to bed. 15 minutes later my husband kicked me because Anthony was crying and it was my turn to go and see him. Honestly I didn't know he had fallen out of his bed until my husband told me as I was going to see him. And I couldn't believe it was Anthony crying because its just not like him to do that - he's not really dramatic that way.

So that was my first clue that something wasn't right. I crawled into bed with him and he complained of a sore neck - so I thought maybe he kinked his neck when he fell and tried to rub it for him (rubbing a child's neck when they have a broken collar bone does not feel good - fyi). He fell back asleep and when he got up he was really nursing his shoulder.

Now here's where I have to tell you that I am not 'that' mom. I rarely take my kids to the doctor unless it's for their 1 year check up and never when they're 'just' sick. I firmly believe that Advil can cure most of what ails them along with some rest. However, I am very happy though that my 'mom senses' kicked in with this because almost as soon as he came downstairs I called my husband and told him I thought he broke - or at least dislocated - his collar bone/shoulder. Lino switched around his calendar and came home to take Anthony to the Urgent Care clinic to get him checked out.

Now this is where it gets interesting. Lino calls me from the clinic to tell me that the nurse asked Anthony to lift his arm above his shoulder (something he couldn't do at home) and he promptly stuck his arm up in the air! Are you kidding me kid? Now you're fine? So the nurse thinks that maybe he dislocated it but it has since self-corrected. I am having this all relayed to me by my husband who is asking me why he has taken our child to the clinic (he's only semi-serious at this point). The next call I get is Lino telling me that they still want to do an x-ray to err on the side of caution, which makes me feel better simply for justifying calling my husband out of work!

Well the next phone call I get is Lino informing me that he didn't dislocate his shoulder (huge sigh of relief) but in fact he has broken his clavicle! My poor little 4 year old birthday boy has broken his collar bone! Honestly, I was in shock. My 6 year old has dislocated his elbow 4 times - which is pretty traumatic, but none of my kids have ever broken a bone! I was honestly distraught. Especially because he broke it falling out of his bed, which for the record is not high off the ground - and only on rails! It kind of made me feel helpless.

Fortunately Anthony is my tough kid - tough as nails that one is. He marched into the house only too happy to show off his new sling/brace to me and his siblings! The hard part now is keeping him from hurting it more, which is much easier said than done when you have a very active and tough 4 year old!

So while I have enjoyed all the milestones this summer has given us, I think I'm done. No more thank you - I've had enough!

Adventures in Babysitting

2010-07-11T15:33:00.003-04:00

It's not easy when you have 4 kids to find a babysitter. Especially if you're me. I'm a bit picky and I don't want someone in my house that isn't going to actually pay attention to my kids. But I also want them to be able to drive, or live in walking distance (because then I don't have to pay for a taxi to take them home in addition to the one that brought me home because when I go out without the kids I like to enjoy some cocktails:)) Add into the fact that I also have to pay said babysitter (meaning teenager who is going to sit on my couch, eat my chips and text all night long) $10 an hour that makes for a pretty expensive evening. Needless to say our nights out are few and far between.

But - deciding that for the sake of my sanity and for the happiness of my children that my husband and I needed a night out of our house. I had my friend give me the email of her son's ex-girlfriend and I had been emailing her back and forth trying to find a day that fit in our schedule. I called her yesterday and booked her for the evening - once again re-iterating how I got her name and that I lived close to her ex-boyfriend. This is how our phone conversation went

Me - Hi, how about I email you directions to my house. Do you know where the big French Catholic school is on the corner?

Her - oh yup, I know where that is.

Me - OK, so you live on (I say her street name) - I used to live 2 doors down from you, I'll send you directions from your house. I actually live close to your ex-boyfriend

Her - ok, sounds good. Email me directions.

At 7:38 (she was supposed to be here at 7:30)I get an email that says this;

Where are you located?
Like what state?

Are.You.Fucking.Kidding.Me?

So I email back - Where are you located?

And she emails me this

I'm in Portland, Oregon, I don't think we're in the same area?

Ya Think?

So, needless to say we did not get our ever needed night out, but what's worse is my kids were so excited for a babysitter! Poor kids were sad they didn't have a new friend coming over.

So how does something like this happen? This girl had the exact same name as the one I thought I was contacting,around the same age - but obviously ridiculously stupid.

Now the good thing is that I did get 2 names of girls who would be interested in babysitting for me in the future. And I'm pretty sure we live in the same country!

A Woman On The Edge!

More Milestones...

2010-07-08T15:38:00.004-04:00

Well, this week marked more summer milestones for us. And this one caused quite the reaction too! This week my second child and my oldest son, Marco, lost his very first tooth! We were very excited for him because while his older sister has already lost 8 teeth this was his first. I kinda forgot how exciting it is for them to get their very first visit from the tooth fairy. After tweeting out that he lost his tooth I was then hit with the usual questions surrounding 'how much does the tooth fairy give in your house?'

And here we go:) Now let me begin by saying that I think that what each person chooses to give their child from the tooth fairy is their own business, but apparently there a few kids that I need to keep my kids away from - because our tooth fairy isn't nearly as rich as theirs:) (Loukia - I am talking to you!)You see in my house the tooth fairy gives the very random amount of $7 for the first tooth ( $7 was the grand total of cash that I had on hand the night my daughter lost her first tooth) and $2 for each subsequent tooth. I think that's pretty reasonable. I mean lets face it people - I have 4 kids who lose, what? - 16 teeth each? Um, I'm not good in math, but that's a whole lot of bank!

But it seems that when the question of 'how much does your tooth fairy leave?' was put to the twitterverse, the answers were quite varying. Seems there are some pretty rich tooth fairies out there who like to leave $50 for a tooth!!!! $50!!!! Are you kidding me??? First off I think my surprise came from the fact that my kids wouldn't even be able to comprehend 'what' $50 was. To them $50 would be no different than $5 - because paper money is paper money. And since I normally raid their piggy banks anyway (what? - I buy them whatever they need - they don't actually need money!) giving them $50 I find a bit excessive! OK a lot excessive! But to each their own.

I guess I think its just too easy to spoil kids these days - and unfortunately it shows in their behaviour. Now just because someone gives their child an excessive amount from the tooth fairy doesn't mean that they spoil them, but it would be in my case. With 4 kids it would become a competition of who got what and how much they had. Leaving it to spare change just makes it more special. I think that the tooth fairy should still leave loose change and random coins, because after all - its not about how much you make from your tooth, its about the rite of passage. Isn't it?

Summer Milestones

2010-07-04T19:41:00.002-04:00

After over 8 continuous years of having at least 1 (sometimes 2) in my house, the last remaining crib was disassembled this weekend replaced by a new double bed. My youngest, who will be 3 in September, has officially outgrown his crib. I am not one to rush a child from the crib to the double bed (we bought all our kids double beds instead of twins because my kids tend to be tall) but in the past few weeks he learned how to get out of his crib - which he did every night after being put to bed - but the final straw came after being put to bed one night and while kicking against the side of the crib (what he does just out of boredom) he kicked the rails right off! So needless to say he was ready for a bed!

And now in addition to being out of his crib, he seems to be done with his nap too. Now that might seem to be a terrible thing for many moms, but since he's my 4th and last one napping it doesn't really bother me. Now at least I don't have to arrange my days around being home in time for nap, and it makes bedtime a little easier. Plus, if he is really tired I'll put him down but he can function quite fine without it so it doesn't bother me.

He was potty trained a few months ago so now it seems that 2010 was my summer of major milestones. It seems that I don't have any babies anymore. And I love it! So many people have asked me if these are bittersweet moments, if it upsets me that I no longer have a 'baby' in the house. They talk about how fast this time goes. Very true, but I'm honestly happy to have these days pass, because I am excited about the future with these people that I am raising. I am looking forward to seeing them grow and seeing the kind of people they will turn out to be. I am looking forward to be able to go to parks and movies and other things that you can't do with a baby.

So for this, my Milestone Summer, I am so very happy to see you. I'm estatic that you're finally here and looking forward to more milestone seasons, just with different milestones. Bye bye baby.

I'm Baccckkkkkk

2010-07-02T15:47:00.002-04:00

Ugh, it's been so long since I have written here I am afraid to check the date of my last blog post, so I'm not gonna. I'll just leave it at 'it's been a really friggin' long time!' Life has been busy and I have been lazy, plus with my blogging duties over at The Yummy Mummy Club when I get a spare minute to write I'm normally bitching about how Miley dresses or the train wreck that is Jon & Kate!

But no longer! I have decided that I need to make this blog a priority so here I write, with 3 of my kids swimming with their father in the pool and the 4th driving me totally insane sitting beside me at the patio table slamming his action figures down consistently. And where I would have normally run away and hid somewhere I will now write when I can. Because I have too much to say and what better forum than your own blog.

And summer is now here and in full swing which means that I have all 4 kids home full time with little to no outside help. Fortunately my neice is 13 this year which means for $20 I can make her come to my house and give me small bursts of freedom, before I officially fall over the edge!

So if you're reading this welcome back! I hope to be here often waxing poetic and anything and everything that catches my attention. Thanks for reading. Talk soon:)

K

Because I Am A Girl

2009-09-29T22:33:00.002-04:00

I was recently contacted by a representative for Plan Canada about a program called 'Because I am a Girl' which is filming a documentary across Canada. The Because I Am A Girl campaign is a global campaign to claim a brighter, safer future for girls. Their goal is to engage one million girls to raise money for projects such as: Clean water and food security, health care and education, and livelihood initiatives, like microfinance. Plan Canada feels that by investing in girls they are investing in the key to the elimination of poverty.

The Because I Am A Girl documentary crew is travelling across Canada to find inspiring stories from girls. If you are in Ottawa and interested in sharing your story - you can come to the Rideau Centre on October 3rd from 12-2pm

This is a great cause to support and I hope you will all read more about what you can do to suppor the Because I Am A Girl Campaign.

Happy Birthday Joey!

2009-09-20T09:24:00.004-04:00

Today is my youngest son's 2nd birthday. Aside from being a monumental day because I no longer have to refer to his age in months (hate doing that!) and I no longer have to say he's almost 2 this is a pretty big day for us because its a day that we weren't sure was going to happen.

After you have 3 kids you kinda have an expectation when getting ready to have your 4th. I was fortunate to have a relatively easy delivery with my 1st child. My daughter was born on her due date after 24 hours of labour and minus the episiotomy it was a very uneventful labour and delivery. I recovered quite quickly and all was goo. Baby number 2 wasn't quite so smooth, and after going 11 days past my due date I was scheduled for an induction and subsequently sectioned after 28 hours (there were fears of a cord issue which turned out to be unfounded.) So with number 3 I opted for the VBAC but again, he was 11 days late and without the option for an induction on the table I was sectioned. Although he was 9lbs 9ozs so I'm not too upset about that one. Then something kinda funny happened - I got pregnant when my 3rd was 5 months old. No, the timing of this pregnancy wasn't planned. We were planning on having a 4th child - just not so soon. After all, this now meant that I was going to have 3 c-sections in 3 years, which isn't ideal.

So - cut to my delivery day. I was due October 6th so my Doctor and I tried to decide on the best date to deliver my son. She didn't want to go much earlier than my original due date but I had a feeling that I just wouldn't last until then. We decided on September 20th and I showed up ready to have my baby on that morning. Since I had 2 c-sections before I knew how this was going to go down and was already planning to leave the hospital after the baby's 24 hour check up. I don't like the hospital and I find that I recover faster at home, so my plan was set.

Unfortunately, sometimes things don't go according to plan. I had my scheduled c-section, and just as the doctor and resident cut me open I could hear a gasp. Both of them leaned over the blanket that was up and my doctor informed me that my uterus was so thin that they could see my son's hair through it. Now, me not being a doctor and not really realizing the severity of this asks 'does he have a lot of hair?' How was I supposed to know that meant that I almost ruptured my uterus?

Anyway, they deliver Joey and he screams nice and loud and my husband and I are so happy and he's hugging me and looking at the baby and then there is silence, because my baby is gone. The nurse has taken him away at this time because he has stopped breathing. My best friend, who is an L&D nurse at the hospital is there, and she tells me not to worry - this happens a lot. So I don't worry because I trust them and I can't do anything because I am getting my tubes tied at this point and waiting for them to finish and stitch me back up.

So she comes back to tell me that they have him on a CPAP machine which is the little nasal prongs so they can give him oxygen and that they have taken him to the NICU for a little while. I'm still optimistic because I really do feel like I am in the best place in the world for this to happen.

That night it all went to shit. He's not breathing, they need to intubate him. What that means is that they have to put a tube up his nose and down his throat into his lungs to breathe for him. Um, OK, not what I signed up for here. I was supposed to be going home the next day. I have 3 kids at home, one of whom is only 14 months old and now I am sick with worry about my baby. Shit, fuck, and every other bad word I can mutter.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. They have to transfer him to The Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario now - which fortunately is attached to the hospital that I am at. But the next morning his lung collapses, which means they have to insert a chest tube to re-inflate. Then they have to put a PICU line in, which is an IV catheter that is inserted in the arm and threaded to his heart. Oh yeah, I honestly thought I was going to die. This is not how it was supposed to be, not how it was supposed to happen. I remember walking into the NICU at CHEO - because they let us walk with him when they transferred him and having the nicest lady on earth take me aside and explain what I needed to do to admit him and all other sorts of stuff. I really don't remember because it was all a blur but thankfully they were so amazing there it made me feel at peace.

They had to put him on an oscillator ventilator which was some huge, loud ventilator that kind of shook him to encourage his lungs to work on his own and they had him on a nitric oxide treatment. I know more about oxygen sat levels, blood gases etc than I ever thought I would! They had to have him paralyzed because of the ventilator. They shaved his head because they need to insert the iv's in his head (which made me laugh a bit because they had to do the same to me when I was born - our baby pics look the same:))His poor nostril bled and scabbed because of the intubation tube but I didn't care as long as they made him better. I didn't see my son's eyes until he was 8 days old, and didn't hold him until he was 10 days old. When he was 13 days old they called me and told me that I could take him home.

You truly don't appreciate or value what those doctors and nurses do for you until you really need to use them. I thank God every day that I had a happy ending. I thank those doctors and nurses for being so approachable and honest with us. I thank the one nurse who assured me that he would be OK because his name was Joey - and that was a tough kids name! Joey was diagnosed with something called PPHN - Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension of the Neonate. One of the valves in his heart that was supposed to force the blood to pass through his lungs didn't close when he was born which resulted in the PPHN. A catch 22 really - because if he went to term we might not have had to deal with any of this, but if we went to term I might have ruptured and then both of us wouldn't have been here.

Joey is monitored now until he is 4 at CHEO but so far there seems to be no side effects - the most common being hearing loss. Fortunately Joey has shown no signs of hearing loss but we have an appointment next week at the audiologist at CHEO.

So this birthday means a bit more to me than most.

I Am Not A Bad Mother (and other reasons why I hate anonymous comments!)

2009-09-06T21:54:00.002-04:00

I'm so fired up right now I can hardly contain myself. Things have been crazy lately. Really crazy. In addition to my blogging duties over at The Yummy Mummy Club I have had my 2 older kids go back to school and this post as initially going to be about that but then I checked some of my comments and saw that I had some new ones on my breast feeding post. One in particular actually. One in particular that someone left branding me a bad mother because I didn't breast feed. One in particular that the author chose to sign anonymous.

I get it. I know that my choice to not breast feed is one that many people feel very strongly about and I respect that. I follow many women on Twitter who are breast feeding advocates - Rebecca at @bitofmomsense comes to my mind immediately. But we have a mutual respect for each other's decisions and while we don't do things the same we value each other as mothers and know that we each do what we feel is best for our kids and we don't judge each other. But this person judged me, this person called me a BAD MOTHER!!

Them are fighting words! No one gets to call me a bad mother but me. Because seriously, the day you have 4 kids in 5 years and dedicate every waking moment to those people is the day you get to call me a bad mother. Not the day you read my blog about me choosing to bottle feed my kids. No, not that day. You can judge me all you want, you can think that I should have breast fed you can think whatever you want, we all think that our way is the right way. What you can't do is call me a bad mother - ever!

So to everyone who reads my little blog - this blog is about me and my family and my life. I don't need you to agree with how I do things, I don't need you to even respect how I do things. If that is the case that's fine, because I am pretty sure that there are ways you do things that I don't agree with. But if you want to leave a comment for me do me a favour and have the balls to sign your name. Because if you are going to say that you won't look at me in the same light, give me the opportunity to not look at your judgemental ass in the same light too.

And to all my Twitter friends, and you know who you are, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have only met a few of you in person yet all of you came to my defence without hesitation. And many of you don't agree with my choice, but you all agree with my right to choose. And for that I am deeply grateful. Anonymous - you could learn a thing or two about tolerance from these ladies. I hope you will.

Another reason why I am a Woman on The Edge!

How We Survived a 17 Hour Road Trip with 4 Kids!

2009-08-25T23:07:00.004-04:00

So, after my last post about my wonderful vacation to Nova Scotia, Lynn left a comment asking for how we coped with our long drive. She is thinking of driving to Florida and was looking for advice. So, instead of a long winded comment I thought I would just do a blog post about it. Here goes.

When we decided to drive to Nova Scotia, which is approximately 1440 km from Ottawa, we knew that we had to be fully prepared. We planned on doing the drive in 2 days, with the first day covering about 10hours and the second day about 5-6 hours. However, on the way home, that changed to driving straight though. I mean we've all been there - once you get going you just want to get home, and we were no exception. We had planned to stop in Riviere Du Loup on the way home, but as we were driving through it was only 3:30 and we knew we only had about another 6 hours to go so off we went!

I must say if I could give my kids a medal for incredible behaviour in the car, I would. They were fantastic! Not one meltdown, not one tantrum, just incredible. But I think being prepared for the long drive helped. Here's what we did;

Get a DVD player!!!

The only time I didn't care if my kids watched tv until they couldn't watch anymore was during this drive! I can recite every Dora dvd that we have by heart but I don't care because my 22 month old didn't say boo the ENTIRE drive because I had Dora playing constantly! I was lucky enough to borrow dvd players for each of the kids which is very important with 4 kids because if you can limit any reason for fighting, a 17 hour car ride is the reason to do so! I was even lucky enough to get the kind that attaches to the back of the seat for the youngest so I didn't have to rely on him to hold it. I also borrowed movies from friends so that they had new ones to watch in the car. I was also able to borrow some hand held v-tech games from a friend too that were awesome!

Food!

Food is very important in my house. My kids are constantly hungry and always want snacks. We wanted to ensure that we had good food with us so we packed 2 cooler bags that I had constant access to while Hubby drove. We also packed a picnic lunch so that we wouldn't have to stop for fast food during the drive. I made sandwiches, had grapes, peaches, juice boxes, strawberries and chips packed as well as some fruit snacks and licorice for in the car (not so messy). I also gave each of my kids a water bottle for the car. My boys will guzzle juice if they have it, meaning more pee breaks, but I knew they would only drink the water if they were thirsty.

Rest Stops!

This was the most important element of our successful drive - the rest stops! Right off the top we knew that if someone said they had to pee, or had to stop for some reason, we weren't going to argue with them. If they wanted to stop, we did it. It was too long of a drive to have someone whining about something when a 5 minute stop would make it all better. But, since we had planned our stops we had very few other needs to stop. We made sure that when we stopped for lunch we gave the kids lots of time to run around. Our lunch break stops were no less than an hour. Quebec makes up for its not so great highways with fantastic rest stops! We were able to find rest stops with picnic tables, bathrooms, coffee shops, and lots of room for the kids to run. We brought balls for them to kick around, had a nutritious lunch packed and gave them the time they needed to run around. During rest stops we made sure they all got out and stretched and we could change movies or games or what have you at that time. When we felt like they were getting antsy from being in the car too long we would stop. On our way home we stopped about 2 hours out at a McDonalds with a playland (it was late at this point) and just let them play for 15 minutes. We got them some french fries and ourselves a drink and that little 15 minute pit stop made the last 2+ hours of our trip home run smoothly.

The Comforts of Home

Lastly, I think the secret to our success was having the kids comfort items in the car with them. My beautiful late Aunt Priscilla made all of my kids hand knit blankets when they were born. All of them are very attached to these blankets, so needless to say they came in the car with us. I also made sure that all the kids were dressed in comfy clothes - no jeans and no stiff fabrics. They need to be able to get comfortable so they can fall asleep if they want to (although not one of my kids slept for more than 2 hours the entire drive!)

I also rearranged their seating. Normally, my younger 2 sit in the middle row with the older 2 in the back. But for this trip I moved my oldest to the middle row beside the youngest so she could be my passer, which worked out quite well for us (although I think she was getting sick and tired of being the passer by the end:))

So, that's how I survived my summer vacation drive! Any body else got any tips?

My Summer Vacation

2009-08-15T23:05:00.013-04:00

I recently returned home from a whirlwind trip to Nova Scotia. Why did I go? Because every year for the last 7 I have been saying that I was going to and finally my husband and I decided that it was time. I was born in Nova Scotia and lived there until I was 11. All of my mother's family is still there, so we have gone back often to visit. That was until I started to have children. The last time I was there childless was when I was 2 months pregnant with my daughter, which was August 2001. So now 4 kids later I decided that it was time that my only surviving grandparent, my grandmother, should get to meet my children. Because lets face it, I might miss the chance altogether if I don't do it soon.

This is my Nanny with my youngest.

Now, I should mention that I went to Nova Scotia with my Mother and Sister last year. My mom is the 2nd oldest of 11 children, and her oldest sister was diagnosed with cancer and wasn't doing well. My sister and I decided that we wanted to pay our respects before we didn't have the option so we went for a 5 day visit. My Aunt died 2 months after our visit, so we were very happy that we got to see her one last time. And for that reason I didn't want to wait any longer and maybe miss giving my grandmother the chance to meet her great-grandchildren, and my kids the opportunity to meet their great grandmother.

We drove to Nova Scotia - something the the very thought of scared me to death! The longest my kids had ever had to drive prior to this was from Ottawa to Whitby. We drove down over the course of 2 days, doing about 10 hours the first day and spending the night in a hotel. My kids were rock stars in the car! I borrowed dvd players so that they each had one, and that was a fantastic idea! And did I mention how much I love Dora? Because she kept me sane! Joey watched Dora from the time we left till the time we arrived in Nova Scotia. I love her.

My kids in the car

We had a great visit in Nova Scotia, and aside from 2 really shitty weather days the kids had a wonderful time! We had a mini family reunion on the day we arrived at my Grandmother's house which was great because the kids got meet lots of their cousins. We took them to see the ocean on one of the not so nice days - which didn't stop them from getting completely soaked! They decided that they were going swimming, clothes and all! Crazy kids, it was f&*king cold! At least they had fun, well most of them anyway:)

This was some of the family getting together (did I mention I have a really big family?)

The kids in the freezing ocean

Joey not loving the freezing ocean:)

The weather finally warmed up and we were able to take the Ferry over to Halifax and see some of the Buskers festival, and make another trip to the beach that was warmer than the first! So fortunate that my family lives in a little fishing village right near the ocean where there is a beautiful boardwalk that you can take to walk all around the shore.

Busker in Halifax

View from the boardwalk

Happy times at the beach!

On our way home we decided that we really wanted to get back to our home and our routine. Being away with 4 young children is a lot of fun for the most part, but also very stressful when your children are off their schedule. Sleeping issues and eating issues are abundant, so we really wanted to get home. We decided that we would drive straight through so that we could all sleep in our own beds. So that made 17 hours in a car on the way home! Holy shit we did it too! The kids were troopers and we all had the best sleep of our lives! Of course the kids were up bright and early in the morning, but they slept well!

So that was my trip - so glad that I was able to show my kids where I grew up, and so glad that I was able to see all my family again. And so glad that I was able to have an honest to goodness road trip with my kids and survive!

My unpopular decision

2009-08-04T14:56:00.004-04:00

This week is World Breastfeeding Week - something I learned about on Twitter. As such I have had the opportunity to read many women's stories about their journey through breastfeeding their children and felt compelled to share my story. After all, this is my blog so I can write about whatever I want to. I am a non-breastfeeder. I'm not one of those women who tried but had such a difficult time that I resigned myself to not being able to, I am not one of those women who had issues with milk supply. Nope, I'm the other kind. I'm the woman who chose not to breastfeed simply because I didn't want to.

I was on the fence about my decision to breastfeed or not up until the moment I delivered my first child. My husband was supportive of me regardless of my decision, and my best friend was the lactation consultant at the hospital where I delivered - so support was not an issue. But as soon as I delivered my daughter I knew that breastfeeding wasn't for me. I saw my husband holding her and cradling her in his arms and knew that I had made the right decision. I wanted him to be able to share in the responsibility of feeding her as much as I would. I was also exhausted after a very long 9 months of pregnancy and was more than happy to finally be able to share the responsibility of my daughter with her father.

Some people call me selfish - so be it. But just because I am not a breastfeeder doesn't mean I don't respect those who choose to breastfeed. I think that every mother, regardless of how she chooses to feed her child, should be respected for her decision. I find it appaling that anyone would ask a mother who is breastfeeding her child to cover up or move to a different room to feed their child. But I also think that there is much ado about nothing regarding breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is a completely normal and necessary act and the fact that so many people have issues with it is just ridiculous to me. It has become a topic so hotly debated that everyone has an opinion on it. There are women who have become so distraught about their inability to breastfeed that they have committed suicide. Breastfeeding should simply be the choice of the mother and each mother should be supported regardless of their decision. Lactation consultants should be offered free of charge through the hospitals as a service for new mothers (as it was at the hospital where I delivered all 4 of my children), and new mothers who choose not to breastfeed should be advised on how to keep comfortable when their milk supply finally comes in.

I think its funny that there are so many women who are made to feel uncomfortable and ostrascized by their choice not to breastfeed. Probably as many as are made to feel uncomfortable and ostrascized by their choice to breastfeed. Its funny that whenever I make a comment on a blog or on Twitter that I didn't breastfeed I normally get a large amount of private messages thanking me for speaking up. Non-breastfeeders are normally terrified of the 'lactivists' who often times end up sending nasty messages to anyone who speaks against breastfeeding. What these people don't realize is that choosing not to breastfeed is not speaking against breastfeeding, not at all. Its speaking for those who choose not to. After all, its our choice as mothers to feed our children how we want and regardless of whether you agree with my decision or not, I ask that you respect it as what was right for me and my family.

I don't think that anyone is a better Mother than I am because they chose to breastfeed and I didn't. And I certainly hope that no one thinks that they are a better Mother than I am because they breastfed and I didn't. Breastfeeding is a personal choice and one that should be supported regardless of the decision for or against. And there is a lot more to being a good parent then how you choose to feed your baby. I'd like to think that I'm a good parent because of all the choices I have made for my children. They are healthy, happy and totally loved and I could ask for nothing more. So all I ask is that you support all new mothers regardless of how they choose to feed their babies, and that we as mother's support each other as well. After all, we are the only ones who really know how hard being a mother is, and we can all use a little support.

I'm A Runner Now (Kinda)

2009-07-29T21:11:00.004-04:00

It was around the time my youngest child turned 13 months that I had my ‘Aha!’ moment. You know, that moment when you realize that all the extra weight that you are carrying around can no longer be labeled ‘baby weight’. Nope, now it was just ‘too much pizza and ice cream weight!’ It happened when I stepped on my scale one day and realized that I was the same weight at 13 months postpartum as I was at 1 month postpartum. Aha, I’m fat! Needless to say, I was mortified and embarrassed at the same time.

Now, my pregnancy weight gain is very much to blame for my overall weight gain, but not the sole reason behind it. Four children in five years, along with five house moves in those same five years and 3 job changes for my husband certainly attributed to where I found myself that day in October – oh, and did I mention I own my own online business that I run from home? But the real reason for my current condition was my fault. I had gotten lazy, and stopped taking care of me. I decided that it was time to finally do something about it. It was finally time to reveal my inner Yummy Mummy.

I joined a weight loss program that guaranteed weight loss. I stayed on this program for five weeks and lost 27 pounds! Hot damn! That was exciting! But, I knew that if I didn’t get active I would very quickly gain those 27 pounds back, so I started running. Then, one day in early January, my girlfriend asked me if I would like to run the 10km race in the National Capital Race Weekend in May. “Sure, why not, 10km can’t be that hard. I mean, its only January – that gives me 5 whole months to train. I mean really, how far can 10km really be anyway? I can drive that in like 2 minutes right?” Wow, I really didn’t know what I had gotten myself into to! And for the record, 10km is really far! But, I gave my word that I would complete this race and by God I was gonna do it! I was going to become a runner!

I found another source of motivation and encouragement in Twitter. I had joined Twitter in February and slowly found a really great group of women whom I connected with. Some of them were local, in Ottawa, and some in Toronto, Vancouver, the US, you name it! But all of them offered me different words of encouragement in 140 word doses, doses that made me believe that I really could become a runner! Some would offer up encouraging words, and some would offer up really great advice on how to get through a run of that length. And all of them offered me hope that I, too, could become a runner! I realized that there is this whole world of ‘mom runners’ out there and I was becoming one of them, awesome! And now the best part of all of this is that I have lost another 13 pounds bringing my total weight loss to 40 pounds! And I look good! And my kids get to see their Mom being healthy and active and happier. And my husband, well, he really likes the benefits I have reaped from running!

So I did it, I ran that 10km in 71 minutes on May 23rd! My parents, my husband and my kids all came down to watch me cross the finish line, and they were just as excited for me as I was.

So what’s next, you ask? Well, Erica Ehm twittered one day about a charity race in Toronto in August, and asked if I would be interested in coming down with some other Ottawa area Yummy Mummies to run in it. Well, when Erica Ehm asks you to run with her, you do! And best of all, there will be a whole group of my Twitter friends running too, so not only do I get to run for a great charity but I get to meet (and hopefully raise a glass with) some really fantastic women. Oh, and this time it isn’t a 10km race we are running, this time it’s a 15km race! Yikes! But that’s OK, because I’m a runner now!

I live in Ottawa with my husband, Lino and 4 great kids between the ages of 7 years and 20 months (nope, no multiples either). I run my own online business from home and am always trying to find an extra hour our two in every day. I am the single most important person in my house, mostly because I do all the grocery shopping. Life is good, and keeps getting better. Oh, and I'm also a runner (kindof)!

This is me 1 week postpartum with my 4th

And this is me from out trip to Disney in March

Blogher - or whatever

2009-07-26T19:56:00.004-04:00

I am a little embarrassed to write this because in doing so I am admitting that I have no idea what I am talking about. I typically don't really like to not know what I am talking about and like even less to admit that I don't know what I'm talking about. But what is the deal with this Blogher thing?

I am a Twitter junkie. I am on Twitter daily, you can follow me if you want by following kellidaisy. I quite enjoy Twitter because with my daily schedule it allows me to pop in and out as I have the time and see what is going on in my twitter world. A little while ago I started seeing posts about this Blogher '09 convention. I figured it was something I just didn't know about (whatever) and kept tweeting away. As my twitter universe grew so did the constant references to Blogher. I just thought that it was a convention and let it go at that. But as this convention started to approach the tweets about it were coming fast and furious. And now that Blogher '09 is over I am being subjected to endless tweets about Blogher '09

So, I ask you , what the hell is this Blogher nonsense all about??:) Now I know its not nonsense but I really want to know. I asked on Twitter if you have to be invited, the answer is no, you don't. But why go? Is it just a convention of Bloggers? I see many people tweeting about their swag, so is it The Oscars of blogging conventions? Help me out here people, I'm new to this whole blogging thing and I need something else to write about other than what a douche Jon Gosselin is! Because Blogher '10 is being held in New York and if there is an excuse for me to go to New York without kids, I'm in! But I really want to know what all the fuss is about.

So someone tell me, what's all the fuss about?

Where Does the Time Go?

2009-07-20T21:42:00.001-04:00

Today is my oldest son Marco's 5th birthday. I can't believe he is 5 already! Its not like I am sad that he is 5, because I'm not. Honestly, I am not that Mom who laments the loss of the baby years, maybe because his younger brother just turned 3 last week and his other younger brother is only 22 months old so really, I still got more of the baby years than sometimes I care for. I love that he is 5 now because I love seeing the type of boy that he is turning into. But the other night Lino made mention of all that we have done since we had him and as fast as those 5 years have gone, we have done a whole lotta stuff in 5 years!

When I had Marco I was on maternity leave from my job at an Ottawa area software company. My oldest child, Sofia was only 2 years old at the time. We had just moved into our second house that we had built only 2 months before I had him. Now in Marco's five years alive, I have since had 2 other boys, moved to 3 other homes, launched a business, supported my husband through 3 job changes, changed my haircolour at least 4 times (but I always go back to blonde) and I am sure done numerous other things that I can't remember right now due to all of the above.

So, see I'm not sad that he is 5, I just can't believe that in his 5 short years he has experienced so much! Some days I get a little sad that they are all growing up, I mean my daughter was 7 this year. But mostly I find myself completely amazed at the people they are turning into. I mean, its kind of cool to watch them develop into independent human beings who talk back and drive you crazy at such tender young ages. I know it can be really hard on the nerves sometimes but I can't help but smile every time I have to lecture my daughter to clean up her room since it reminds me so much of my room when I was young. Or when Anthony gets so frustrated that he can't do something that he just yells because again, that is totally me!

So my boy turned 5 today, my other boy turned 3 last week, my daughter turned 7 in April and in 2 short months I will be celebrating my youngest son's 2nd birthday. And after all that we have done in those 7 short years, I know where the time has gone. I just can't wait to see where it is going.

my crew with Optimus prime looking on:)

An Open Letter To Jon Gosselin

2009-07-12T22:33:00.002-04:00

Dear Jon Gosselin,

You are a douche. Seriously without a doubt a douche. I understand that you were not happy when your wife actually got a life that didn't revolve around you anymore, it is hard when things around our homes change and when our partners change as well. I understand that you felt your privacy was being threatened when you were being followed by the paparazzi endlessly. What I don't understand is when you turned into a 19 year old frat boy and decided that you deserved to be put first now.

What do I mean? Well, how about you 'posing' for pictures with your new girlfriend in St. Tropez. Posing with your best Hollywood pout and your best 'hey - look at me, wearing all of these ugly shirts might actually pay off' look. I'm gonna tell you something because someone needs to. While your kids might still love you now, at some point, some day, your kids are going to see those pics through grown up eyes and realize what a dick you are being. You have five daughters - five! Do you know that for most daughters, their father is the most important man in their life? Do you know that YOU will be the standard that your daughter's hold every other man that they meet in their life up to? Is this the example of a good relationship and partner that you want your daughters to be exposed to? I don't think so.

See, the reason I started watching your show was that I could relate to your life. I related to your relationship and how you and your wife interacted. You were a real couple with real issues. But someone got to you and told you that you were better than her. You were better than the woman who gave you what should be the 8 most important people in your life. Yup, someone got into your head and told you that you were still so young and you didn't need to take her abuse anymore and screw her because you shouldn't miss out on your life. Guess what, you greedy bastard - whoring around like a frat boy might be fun for now, but at some point you are going to realize that you are screwing with the most valuable relationships in your life. Way to stop publicizing your break up douche.

Confessions

2009-07-10T22:05:00.009-04:00

Well, since I am new to this whole blogging thing I figure that I should get some of my confessions out of the way. That way you will know a little bit more about me and I will feel better knowing that I have shared a bit of myself with you. Since I guess that is what this whole blogging this is about, right? So here goes, be nice.

I am not a natural blonde.

Shocking, I know. Even though most of you have never met me, most people assume that my natural hair colour is some shade of blonde, and that is because it tends to look fairly natural on me. Well, all that changed about 7 years ago when I had my first child. My first REDHEAD child. Wait, then I had another, oh, then another. Wait for it, yup folks, all 4! All 4 of my kids have red hair (to varying degrees, with it getting redder the more I had)!! Dying gene my ass! Seriously, no one ever questioned my hair colour before, now every day some lady at the grocery store coos with one of my boys and strokes their hair. "Oh my, wherever did they get their lovely red hair from? Is their father a red head?" "Um, no, their Father is Italian actually. Well, half Italian, half Irish..." Well, you get the picture, instead of detailing our entire family lineage that basically boils down to my Dad being Scottish and my Mom having a gazillion red heads in her family and my sister having a redheaded daughter and for the love of GOD people I dye my hair!!!!!! Phew, ok, first confession done.

This is about as far back as I had to go to get a pic of me with my actual natural hair colour. Yes, I am adorable.

I am terribly unsentimental.

Like, to a fault. I throw everything out. Today my son came home with certificates from his day camp that he attended all week, and my daughter with the headpiece that she made for her synchronized swimming camp and I threw them all in the recycle bin. For real people, I have 4 kids and if I saved everything that they brought home I would have no room in this house for people. I save key things, like I just framed a picture that my daughter made for me in SK of a sunflower, where her hand prints were the flower petals and her foot prints were the leaves, but most of the stuff I just throw out. Mostly because I don't need that sort of stuff to value what my kids have done or learned. That and my fridge is only so big. And I hate scrapbooking. Although I do love pictures!

My husband and Anthony - One of the reasons why I love pictures

I hate being home

OK, this one sounds really bad. What I mean is that I am really tired of being home, and by being home I mean not working outside of the home. I have been home now for about 7 years, and I desperately want to go back to work, but struggle daily with whether it is worth it or not. So far the 'not worth it' is winning out. And if I go back to work I want a cool job that I love, not just a job that pays the bills. I haven't had that job yet, but I have friends that have really cool jobs and work for great companies in great cities, and that is what I want in a job. And I don't need to go out of the home to do that job, ideally I would be able to do it from home and hire someone to help me out here. Now I am not ungrateful, I realize that not many people can't afford to stay home and I am so thankful that I can and that I have had this time with my kids. After all, they are mine and I love them to death, but sometimes I feel like they are sucking the life out of me. I'm kind of searching for 'me' right now.

But these are the people who have made it worthwhile to stay home:)

OK, that's it for my confessions tonight. I will save the rest for another day...

Its hard being Super Mom

2009-07-04T21:23:00.004-04:00

You know, in the last week, I have thought a lot about how really hard it is to be a Mom these days. I have read a fellow bloggers blog about how she felt like she had failed her child because she raised her voice during an argument, I tweeted with another who felt like crying she was so upset when she discovered her boys fighting after leaving them in another room while trying to squeeze in 20 minutes of exercise, and connected with countless friends who are at their wits end because it is only week 2 of summer vacation and the kids are already bored and acting out. And the worst part of this is that we, as Mothers, punish ourselves.

I think that part of the problem is that we don't really allow ourselves to be Mom's. Not your regular, everyday run of the mill Mom anyway. We expect ourselves to be Super Mom and inflict enormous amounts of guilt upon ourselves if we don't live up to our expectations. Which, of course is impossible to do if we still want to maintain any semblance of sanity. Hell, its impossible to do at all! We do everything for our kids - we cook homemade meals, chauffeur them to their various activities, act as their playmates, clean up after them, and do our very best to instill proper values in them. And we normally do all of that before noon! And when the situation arises that we lose our temper because they cause a fight, hit someone, bite someone or just act like perfectly normal children who push their parents buttons, we punish ourselves. Because it must be because of something we, the Mom, did or didn't do.

Well no more! I am tired of being the Mom who guilts herself because her kids act like kids. Kids fight, kids bite, kids mouth off, kids are people too who have anger and fear and likes and dislikes and we can't program them to never act upon them. And we act upon them too. And we shouldn't have to feel guilty for acting like human beings when that does happen. Our children are very fortunate that they have us here and that we dedicate so much of our lives to them. We love our children and do our very best for them and they are not going to be scarred for life because we lost our temper. I actually think that it helps them realize that we are people too and sometimes Mom's aren't perfect! And it helps us teach them how to deal with those emotions even if we aren't doing the best job of dealing with them ourselves:)

Now that being said I do have a goal for myself and that is to be more patient with my kids. Its hard and I do lose my patience often but I am starting to expect more from my kids and less from me, and I think that is a good balance. They are super kids and they deserve a Super Mom, but I guess they will just have to do with me, regular Mom, because its hard being Super Mom!

And So it Begins.....

2009-06-27T22:38:00.003-04:00

Last week I did it. I did what millions of other mothers in this country do every year. Although I am not sure any of them had as many reservations about doing it as I did. Last week I registered my oldest son for his first year of hockey. And its freaking me out!

Crazy as it may sound, I wasn't sure I even wanted him to play hockey. I remember running into an old high school friend at soccer registration who asked me if he was playing hockey. I told him I wasn't sure if I was going to register him and I swear to God he looked at my like I had 10 heads! Could not even understand my hesitation. I mean, honestly. We live in the capital of Hockey for the love of God, every boy needs to learn to play hockey, right? He won't be 5 years old until the end of July and even though he took Canskate skating lessons all of last year, I was still worried about him playing hockey. Not because I was afraid he would get hurt, or that I was afraid that he wouldn't like it, but because I was afraid of the commitment! Oh, and the crazy hockey moms!

You see, I have 3 sons, so if the first one starts playing hockey, chances are the other 2 will play as well. Not that I didn't think that it would happen, it just kind of happened to sneak up on me. I mean, my older daughter has been in gymnastics, synchronized swimming, figure skating and soccer, and I have never had any reservations about enrolling her in any sport. But the boy is different, and I think its because I know that there are 2 more coming behind him that will do everything he does! Oh, and did I mention that these 3 boys are all only 3 years apart! Which means once it starts, it is going to snowball!

Then its the dreaded hockey mom. Such a stereotype, I know - but trust me, they do exist! II have friends who are that dreaded hockey mom and they don't even know it! I don't want to spend my days in cold rinks with crazy fan moms who are yelling at the refs and at each other. I am more of a 'get my nice x-large coffee and enjoy some quiet time while watching the boy' kind of mom. But, I asked my boy if he wanted to play hockey and he said yes, so I figured it was up to me to give him the opportunity to see if he likes it. And his closest friends are also playing which made him all the more eager to play as well.

And last but not least there is the cost involved. My husband and I were both athletes when we were young. He was a competitive baseball player, and I was a competitive figure skater. We both agreed that we want out children to be involved in organized sports as we feel that sports are essential to raising healthy children. And it helps that all of our kids seem to be very athletically inclined, however, we really don't want to have to sell our organs to pay for those sports! And with me being an at home mom who runs a small online store from home, that is how it is looking! You see, its not just having my daughter and oldest son in sports that is scary, its when all 4 of them are in organized sports that I am going to have to start selling myself to the highest bidder to pay coaching fees!(Just kidding - maybe:))

And so it begins. With the oldest boy starting hockey in September I am now entering a whole new world. I'm going to have to organize figure skates and hockey skates, skating dresses and hockey uniforms. I am going to have to juggle coaches lessons and hockey practice times. I am, going to have to resist the urge to yell at refs and I am going to have to learn to limit my kids activities so that we can still afford to eat. And so it begins. Wish me luck, because I think all of this might just be enough to push me over the edge!

A Woman on The Edge

2009-06-25T14:05:00.000-04:00